Stacey Jane and the anxious chicken

Tuesday. Very slow start to the morning and I could have quite easily slept for a couple more hours but I'm up and sitting down to breakfast. I recognise the trainee waitress who was practising her lines the night before and over she comes.

"Good morning Sir. Did you sleep well?"
"Bit restless actually. The room was very hot and stuffy."
"That's good Sir. Nothing like a good night's rest is there."
"?"
(She's right on script and flicks the page)
"I'm Stacey Jane, your waitress, and I'll be serving you breakfast this morning"
"I'm Chris, your guest, and I'll be eating it."
"Brown or white toast?"
"Brown please."
"We've only got white."
"White it is then."
"Tea or coffee?"
"Have you got both?"
"Of course Sir."
"Coffee then please."
"And how would you like your eggs?"
"I think you've skipped a page."
"What? Oh, sorry. Yes. You're right."
"Let's go back to page two and take it from the top and.... Coffee then please."
"Certainly Sir. Would you like the Full English Breakfast?"
"Yes please but definitely no eggs at all though. I'm allergic to them and they always make me very seriously ill."
"And how would you like your eggs?"
"Still half way up the chicken would be favourite."
"I'll tell Chef."

Ten minutes later and I'm enjoying my second bit of brown toast with a pot of Lapsang Souchong. Out of the corner of my eye I can see a large Dutch businessman asking the manager where his fried egg is. I can see a bit of it peeping out from under my napkin. Stacey Jane was far too sunny and cheerful to be grassed up in her first week.

And then I'm off on day 5 of LeJoG and heading for home in Birmingham and a rest day. The first 30 km passed quickly and then I had a bit of a moment and decided to go on a bike ride. No, really, I did! So I turned off the planned route and east toward Stratford on Avon. Got there, ate lunch and wondered if I could find my way home through country lanes without the GPS. So that's what I did. Quickly got lost but not in a bad way. I just didn't have a clue where I was and I was in no rush. I kept the sun over my left shoulder and soon arrived in villages I knew from training runs. From there to the soulless suburbs and on towards home. Last challenge was to pass Moseley College where a pupil once threw a full bottle of water at me as I rode by in heavy rushhour traffic. I was lucky as it hit me rather than the front wheel and I stayed upright. First time I've come that way at that time of day for quite a while. Then I'm home, having added about 20 km to the planned route. Time for a Balti or two!

Here are today's numbers:

Distance: 95.9 km
Cumulative distance: 594.93 km
Ride time: 4h 39m 20s
Max speed: 59.8 kph
Today's soap: Carbolic by Poundland (well I am home)