Strawberry shortcake

Friday. So, I'm in the pub in Bodmin (The Weavers since you asked) with a pint of Cornwall's finest beer (Tribute, very hoppy and smooth) and yet..... I'm worried. It's not the England vs Algeria game, it's erm .... how to put this.... well, it's erm ..... the way I... erm... smell. I showered straight after the ride, of course, and that's when the trouble started. You see, I just grabbed the shower gel in my very boutique B and B without looking. It was, perhaps inevitably, Strawberry Shortcake by Possibility. So now, I whiff, not unpleasantly I might add, of Strawberry Shortcake. Normally this would not be a problem but right now I am surrounded by a pubful of footie fans who have seen off a couple of barrels of Tribute (each). The conversation might go something like this:

Fan: Bloody hell ref! Leave it out! He wants bloody shooting he does!
Me: Yeah! What a plonker!
Fan: You smell funny.
Me: No I don't.
Fan: Yes you do. You smell like a girl. Oi lads! This geezer here smells like a girl!
Me: I had no choice but to lather up with the Strawberry Shortcake.
Fan: Strawberry bleeding Shortbloodycake!
Me: What would you have me do? Use the Wild Rose and Raspberry Leaf rinse from the Eco range? That would soooo clash with my nappy cream and could stain my Lycra.
Fan: Yeah. You are so right. Point taken. Ref! You are a right wan...!!!
Me: Yeah! And he smells of Wild Rose and .....
The whole pub: (to the tune of 'Guantanamera') Wild Rose and Raspberry. He smells of Wild Rose and Rasberry. Wild Rose and ..... etc.

Lovely ride today but hilly and hot. If you don't want to see the results, then look away now.

Distance: 105.61km
Time: 5h 34m 14s
Max speed: 51.4kph
Legs: wobbly
Nose: sunburned
Bum: sore