Saturday: Lance Armstrong (winner of Le Tour more than just a few times) swore by pasta. So, very, very hungry (almost constantly) I ate at Bella Italia last night:
"I'll have the Fusilli please and a Pepperoni Pizza."
"Would you like those together Sir?"
"Why not. In fact, just shove it all in the blender and we can avoid all that foodie taste and texture nonsense and save on the washing up at the same time."
I don't know what brings these rather unpleasant and sarcastic ripostes to mind. I think it's the hunger. I never say these things of course but sometimes it's a close run thing.
Today breakfast is in the pub. "The cereals are on the bar Sir." The muesli is indeed right next to the handpump for Dizzy Blond beer that I could only point to, rather than ask for, last night. There's something very pleasant but indulgent about staying in a pub. The Wagon and Horses in Lancaster is a great place to try it out for the first time.
I'm off on the next leg and aiming for Gretna Green, just over the border and into Scotland. I stop for coffee (very important) in Kendal and chat to a couple who ride regularly in the area. They tell me what I already know and have been worried about for a while; the climb up Shap Fell is long and hard. It starts just north of Kendal and the view of the Lakeland Fells to the west is well worth the effort but it's very hard work. After about 14 km of climb I start writing this blog in my head about how tough and hot and hard and difficult it is and then I have a Bear Grylls TV moment.
Bear (to camera): "It's my third day in the Kalahari and I've just eaten raw hyena liver with mealy worms and have drunk a pint of camel spit. My hair shirt is seriously whiffy and I have pushed poisonous thornyspiny branches into my pants as the local tribesman say this will bring great joy to their village." (Over his shoulder there are indeed belly laughs and thigh slaps together with much pointing in Bear's direction.) "Tomorrow I'll tie my flip-flops together and climb the biggest hill I can possibly find and then moan endlessly about ......"
At this point I shout at the tele: "Look Bear! It is your, I repeat, your, decision to do this! I will only sympathise with hardship when it is foisted on someone. Like, for example, that woman behind you going to collect water with a container the size of a small Fiat on her head so that you and the camera crew can have a nice cup of Earl Gray with your Chocolate Hobnobs! If you don't like it, give it up!"
.... so, I was really enjoying the climb and can see the top about a mile away. Then I spot the telltale flash of fluoro yellow that signals the presence of another cyclist grunting up Shap Fell. Can I catch him before the top? Let's have a go. The competitive thing kicks in and I am chanting "I can do it!" in my head as I push harder. Bob the Builder tries his luck but I banish him to the same place that Begin the Beguine was sent after Julio served me a pint on Thursday. About a quarter of a mile to go and I catch him. I take a few deep breaths so I can pass, apparently effortlessly, with a cheery "Lovely view!" when suddenly he speeds up and then we're side by side.
He's also an End to Ender and the competitive thing just disappears as we trade stories and then it's just us against Shap Fell. We crest together and enjoy the freewheel down into Shap where he's going for a swim. We manage a left-right handshake and wish each other a safe journey. About half hour later I'm thinking I'd be gutted if he makes John O'Groats before me and I up the pace. Whoever you were, thanks for your company and I bet I get there before you do but if I don't it's not a race you know. Taking part is the most important thing.
The ride today could not have been better and I made it to Gretna Green. Onward to Biggar tomorrow. I've banked a few extra miles so I can make the 3 o'clock kick off. I've been practising my Scottish/German accent ready for the pub. A warm welcome awaits me surely?
Today's results:
Distance: 135.5 km
Cumulative distance: 997.75 km
Ride time: 6h 10m 46s
Max speed: 64.5 kph
Right knee: worryingly sore at times
Meerkat plane spotter problem: sorted with a spot of lube on the pedal (might try it on the knee)
"I'll have the Fusilli please and a Pepperoni Pizza."
"Would you like those together Sir?"
"Why not. In fact, just shove it all in the blender and we can avoid all that foodie taste and texture nonsense and save on the washing up at the same time."
I don't know what brings these rather unpleasant and sarcastic ripostes to mind. I think it's the hunger. I never say these things of course but sometimes it's a close run thing.
Today breakfast is in the pub. "The cereals are on the bar Sir." The muesli is indeed right next to the handpump for Dizzy Blond beer that I could only point to, rather than ask for, last night. There's something very pleasant but indulgent about staying in a pub. The Wagon and Horses in Lancaster is a great place to try it out for the first time.
I'm off on the next leg and aiming for Gretna Green, just over the border and into Scotland. I stop for coffee (very important) in Kendal and chat to a couple who ride regularly in the area. They tell me what I already know and have been worried about for a while; the climb up Shap Fell is long and hard. It starts just north of Kendal and the view of the Lakeland Fells to the west is well worth the effort but it's very hard work. After about 14 km of climb I start writing this blog in my head about how tough and hot and hard and difficult it is and then I have a Bear Grylls TV moment.
Bear (to camera): "It's my third day in the Kalahari and I've just eaten raw hyena liver with mealy worms and have drunk a pint of camel spit. My hair shirt is seriously whiffy and I have pushed poisonous thornyspiny branches into my pants as the local tribesman say this will bring great joy to their village." (Over his shoulder there are indeed belly laughs and thigh slaps together with much pointing in Bear's direction.) "Tomorrow I'll tie my flip-flops together and climb the biggest hill I can possibly find and then moan endlessly about ......"
At this point I shout at the tele: "Look Bear! It is your, I repeat, your, decision to do this! I will only sympathise with hardship when it is foisted on someone. Like, for example, that woman behind you going to collect water with a container the size of a small Fiat on her head so that you and the camera crew can have a nice cup of Earl Gray with your Chocolate Hobnobs! If you don't like it, give it up!"
.... so, I was really enjoying the climb and can see the top about a mile away. Then I spot the telltale flash of fluoro yellow that signals the presence of another cyclist grunting up Shap Fell. Can I catch him before the top? Let's have a go. The competitive thing kicks in and I am chanting "I can do it!" in my head as I push harder. Bob the Builder tries his luck but I banish him to the same place that Begin the Beguine was sent after Julio served me a pint on Thursday. About a quarter of a mile to go and I catch him. I take a few deep breaths so I can pass, apparently effortlessly, with a cheery "Lovely view!" when suddenly he speeds up and then we're side by side.
He's also an End to Ender and the competitive thing just disappears as we trade stories and then it's just us against Shap Fell. We crest together and enjoy the freewheel down into Shap where he's going for a swim. We manage a left-right handshake and wish each other a safe journey. About half hour later I'm thinking I'd be gutted if he makes John O'Groats before me and I up the pace. Whoever you were, thanks for your company and I bet I get there before you do but if I don't it's not a race you know. Taking part is the most important thing.
The ride today could not have been better and I made it to Gretna Green. Onward to Biggar tomorrow. I've banked a few extra miles so I can make the 3 o'clock kick off. I've been practising my Scottish/German accent ready for the pub. A warm welcome awaits me surely?
Today's results:
Distance: 135.5 km
Cumulative distance: 997.75 km
Ride time: 6h 10m 46s
Max speed: 64.5 kph
Right knee: worryingly sore at times
Meerkat plane spotter problem: sorted with a spot of lube on the pedal (might try it on the knee)
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